Tuesday, June 28, 2011

When I had Baby G I lost a friend.

The Family Dog now hates me.  I’ve known Max since he was a puppy.  I helped train him.  I’ve taken him on hundreds of walks.  I’ve fed him lots of juicy table scraps.  I’ve pet him for hours.  We’ve traveled the country together.  But now….  We. Are. Not. Friends.

I took Baby G down to my parents house to visit last Sunday.  It was the first time I’d ventured out rather than demanding family come to me.  I stepped out of the passenger seat and Max greeted me with his normal I-adore-you-and-want-to-slobber-all-over-you way.  Then I opened the back seat and pulled out my new baby.  The dog just stared at me.  Slowly his tail stopped wagging….

I’m not sure if that was the moment when he turned on me or not.  But a short while later I knew I had fallen from grace.  After Sunday dinner I carried Baby G into the living room to nurse her.  As I walked past Max he growled at me.  He. growled. at. me. The family dog growled at me.  Ten years of loyalty stripped away by a nine pound baby.

The rest of that day Max avoided me.  He came when I called him but with no enthusiasm.  He took the treat I gave him and then walked away to enjoy it assumably with better company.  Sigh.

This is not wholly unexpected.  My younger sister Jani is mother to 4 children.  Jani’s easygoing ways and kindness make her popular with everyone.  Everyone except Max that is who can’t forgive her for bringing 4 grandchildren into the world.

We have our theories on why Max hates primi and multigravida.   Any baby ranks above the family Dog.  The baby gets to sit in the dining room during dinner while Max has to watch from the back door.  The baby gets more face time with everyone.  I’ll admit from a certain perspectives it is unfair. 

Who is to blame for the babies and consequently the upheaval of the pecking order?  The mothers of course!  Poor Joanie and Jani are the source of all of Max’s problems.

A favorite family story:  Little  4 year old Eden was walking down the hall with Max.  She kept petting him and saying over and over “Look he likes me!”  Max’s response to this was a low frequency growl.  He doesn’t like anyone under 4.5 feet. 

In summary for every action there is a consequence.  I acquired the worlds cutest baby and lost the love of a great dog.  It is a little unfair considering I’m not the only one responsible for Baby G.  Let’s just say that Spencer was also involved in the process (ask your mother.)   But the complexity of the human reproductive system is above Max’s cognitive skills.  He still LOVES Spencer whom he’s only known for 5 years (anniversary this week.) 
In this case “Man’s best friend” doesn’t apply to woMAN.  


Evenstar said...

Max really has become a grumpy old man, hasn't he?

The Queen Prawn said...

Sorry Joanie. I don't know. If you think about the way dogs are raised it is slightly logical. I mean after daddy-dog does his initial job he disappears doesn't he? Which is something that domesticated dogs have as a disadvantage to their wolf ancestors.