Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Pet that hates me.

Relations between myself and the Bird continued to spiral downward.  I mentioned that he tolerates me and respects my position, (wife), but things have gone from Bad to Worse.  Last Saturday things went from Worse to completely Unbearable!

Here is what happened: I came home from rehearsal.  Spencer was out riding his bike and Petie was alone chirping in his cage.  Feeling sorry for the little guy I got him out and with him perched on my sholder I headed into the bathroom to put on makeup for the day (I feel better now that you know why the picture below is so scary.  No-makeup/Tired/Early-Morning-Rehearsal.) 

Just then I heard the ice cream truck outside.  You know ...that super annoying high pitched "song" penitrates concrete walls better than Superman.  Apparently it drives Pet Birds just as crazy as it did my mother.  It was pretty loud in the bathroom.  Petie went CRAZY!  I tried talking to him to get him to calm down but it didn't work.  He was mad and determeined to take it out on me.  Petie did several touch and go's on my sholder and then....  HE BIT ME!  He bit me HARD.  As in I BLED!

His sharp beak bit down on my tender ear lobe until I managed to swat him away.  This had never happened before.  After he bit me Petie flew away but then turned around to land on my shoulder.  He was coming back for more!  I could feel the blood dripping onto my shirt.  I saw him coming.  I put out my hand and I swatted him down mid flight.  Yep.  I hit my pet Bird. You think I'm crule.  You think I abuse my bird.  You think I have no patience with animals.  Let's just seal the deal and I'll tell you I hate PETA. (I really hate PETA.)

So at this point I was determined to do what I had been avoiding for years (since we rescued Petie. I don't hate animals I just hate PETA.) We had to clip his wings.  Birds with clipped wings are more docile and easier to handle.  We've always thought about clipping his wings but it was so cute to see him flying around the house following Spencer from room to room.

The time had come.  We found a few video's on YouTube on how to clip a bird wings.  And snip snip snip twenty minutes later it was done.  I held Petie (with gloves) and Spencer clipped with the nail clippers.  He didn't seem to notice when we did the clipping but as soon as I let him go he tried to fly to the top of our candle sconce.  He never made it.  He can still fly a little but gains no elevation.  He landed on the carpet and humbly crawled back to Spencer.

I would like to say that it worked and he is a new bird.  But he bit me on the lip last Sunday.  We have a new theory.  The birds are mating like crazy out our window.  We think that Petie just needs a girl friend (or mating season to end.) For now I'm still living with the pet that hates me.


Seventh Child said...

Oh Joanie are you okay? I am so sorry Petie officially turned on you.

Evenstar said...

Ouch! I'm sorry Petie doesn't like you. I hate PETA too! But I like People Eating Tasty Animals.

Sugarsmax said...

Wow, will you give him to Eric? Maybe you should get a girl bird who likes you and hates Spencer.

Jani said...

Umm. . .What is PETA again? I'm sorry about the biting. But my sympathy also goes out to Petie for the clipped wings. That's like a pilot losing his medical.