I had a hunch this would happen. It still hit me hard. The news came while I was driving home from teaching. The nurse was very professional. But I just wanted her to hang up right away so I could cry. I didn't say much to her. I feared my voice would shake and betray me.
Now the optimistic among you will be saying: "But don't worry Spencer is most likely not a carrier." and "Wait to panic until you find out more." This is all good advice. I really appreciate all the love and support. I would feel very alone with out such wonderful friends and family. Thank you all.
Spencer has a 1/29 chance of being a CF carrier. If he is a carrier of CF then our children have a 25% chance of having CF. I do not have CF. Carriers of CF don't develop CF. You either have it or you don't.
It is hard to drive when you are crying.
Despite some really wonderful things that happened today....
1. A good friends Bachelorette party
2. Good talks with co-workers
3.Talking with Spencer
....this felt like a very dark day. Not even my bright yellow sweater or husband could make me feel better. I'm not asking for lots of loving responses. I try to keep this blog as real as possible and this has been a very real day. We all have them. I can't wait for tomorrow.